You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
