Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
