Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
