Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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