Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize