I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
