Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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