I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
