I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
