I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
