your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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