I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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