I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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