It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize