Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
