im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
no you cant smoke seaweed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
