Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
