i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
