I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize