Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
