I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
