I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
