Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
