Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
