Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You ruined the universe
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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