This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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