She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
