Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
