i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
