u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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