we have pet lesbian snakes
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize