Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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