he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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