Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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