I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
