got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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