Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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