im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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