Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
