We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
