i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
