This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
