Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
