Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you win again, gameday.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
