I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
