After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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