Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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