Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
