yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize