I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just gargled with NyQuil
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