i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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