I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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