Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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