I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
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