she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You pole danced in your parka.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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