We're facebook friends in real life
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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