No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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