I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
