dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
vagina is talking i cant
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
My vagina is officially offended.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
