he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
