i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
