btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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