i jhust puked up my retainher.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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