i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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