I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
where are my eyebrows?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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