I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
